Guilt Coinage

I realize that many of the mistakes that I make are related to trying to do too many things at one time. Most recent example – this morning I am buttering toast and at the same time getting something from the cupboard – crash. And doesn’t everyone clean the bathroom bench down whilst brushing teeth or is that just a gross ‘me’ thing? I grew up being taught never to waste a minute – and certainly don’t waste your life. Sleep-ins are for sissys and each day is to be used to its fullest. Cleanliness might have been next to godliness but in reality busyness came out first. Being someone who got things done gave every other attribute a giant whack in the butt. Anyway it has meant that much of my guilt coinage has been spent feeling bad that I am not achieving enough with my day. For example, today is my day off – a beautiful sunny Thursday all to myself. Husband and children are doing their own thing and I have wonderful hours of ‘my’ time. It’s ten thirty and what have I got to show for it? That’s the guilt talking.

I was reading one of those magazines in the seat pocket on a plane last month. It was featuring an interview with long time British Airways pilots and they were asked to comment on their favourite routes to fly. It was fascinating hearing what they had to say and through their commentaries it was obvious that they all loved flying. They see things from up front in the cockpit that we don’t see. They don’t really move out of their seats except to visit the washroom. They don’t allow us to visit the cockpit anymore ( although during a tarmac delay in Heathrow the Captain came over the intercom asking if any children would like to visit the cockpit while we waited – nice touch). Anyway generally the pilots sit still for hours on end as they manoeuvre these giant birds across landmasses and oceans. The article was wonderful as they explained how they loved the rising of the sun over Cape Town or seeing the rugged mountains and glaciers of Greenland. One pilot thought that London to Marrakech was the best route whilst another chose Nairobi to Johannesburg as their personal favourite.

They sit up there at 30000ft above the ground - yes we all sit, passengers included, and move across the globe in these machines. I wonder if some of the greatest movements are those we make from our seats rather than those that we make with our hands or movement with our feet. We sit. We sit around a dinner table and dream and plan and love. We sit in on a meeting and form ideas and structures for business. We sit and watch by a sick friend’s bedside. We sit at a concert or theatre engaged and enthralled through art. Be still – be seated – know that I am God. That I don’t have to rush around, that I don’t have to accomplish mega-tasks to feel valuable and fulfilled. That I too can sit in the cockpit and move my spirit across vast areas and make a difference in this life. And that without moving a muscle.

I was reminded of the British Airways article when I was listening to a podcast from Bill Johnson of Bethel California on my run last night. He told the story of a pilot who was flying an aircraft across part of a north African desert and that all he could see was miles and miles of nothing – just sand and very little vegetation. Then in the midst of this was a square piece of green. Obviously someone had irrigated just this small patch in the middle of the desert. It was so green amidst the barrenness. It was stunning. We are to be the patches of green in the desert. Places of oasis for others. Wells of life. It’s not about what we do or what we accomplish but who we allow to provide the water for our wells.

My prayer today is for peace in my spirit. For ears to hear above the earthly clatter. To do one thing at a time and make that one thing count.